If I could list off for you all the greatest fears of my life, we would be here for days. I think some people are just more naturally prone to fear and worry compared to others.
On the scale 1-10 of fear, where would you rate yourself?
1= No fear; not much at all scares you, you like to take risks and just see what happens.
10= All the fear; You process all the worst case scenarios for every single human involved, You have an escape route planned in most situations, and You definitely don’t do anything that requires a helmet or protective gear because it is obviously not safe.
In the spirit of being authentic, I will confide in you that I am more often than not a 9 or a 10.
I wish I wasn’t as high strung when it comes to scary things, but I just am. One of my biggest fears is the ocean (or mostly just water I can’t see in). But the ocean for sure, especially because Jaws was a real movie when I was growing up and sharks really eat people.
When my husband and I got married we went to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon. It was such a beautiful place, and honestly we were so fortunate to be able to go.
One of the many adventurous opportunities we had while we were there was to go out on a catamaran. Not one of the super big ones, but just a small 2-4 passenger one.
So indulge me while I set this scene up for you. The square footage of the entire catamaran was probably no bigger than 4 feet by 4 feet. It had a mesh net connecting the two floats that run parallel, and a sail at the front middle. See the image if you need a better visual.
So the young kid (he was probably about 20 years old) directing my husband and I on this catamaran told us to hop on and we headed out to sea. I was under the impression that he would be our tour guide and take us around and then a few minutes later we would go back to shore.
NOPE. He was our instructor. He gave us about a three minute tutorial on how to balance the catamaran so it didn’t tip over, and how to steer it. Then he headed back to shore and hopped off and told us we could spend the rest of the day out there if we wanted.
This is where I could insert my deer in headlights emoji! What? We had to do it ourselves? You mean to tell me I was supposed to pay attention to the instructions he was giving us? And now I am supposed to trust my husband to keep us safe and free from the grasp of Jaws?
NOPE! I was petrified. Paralyzed. Balling my eyes out. I literally kept visualizing Jaws coming up from the dark abyss below to devour me. Then my husband started getting frustrated because was a crying mess, incapable of rational thoughts or behaviors. (In hindsight, I can see why he was a little annoyed.)
I started screaming that we were going to die. I begged him to take me back to the shore because I didn’t want to be shark food.
And he did. While he was annoyed, mostly because he thrives in the face of adventure, he knew that I was not mentally capable of handling the situation and I was more of a threat to myself and him because I was past the point of all logic and reasoning.
Interestingly, just the other day I watched as a cicada flew into my middle child’s hair. The hair was dangling in front of her face and as soon as she saw it she lost her ever loving mind. I personally can’t stand the cicada’s (thankfully they only torture us once every seventeen years), so my mind wanted to flip out right along side her. But I knew I had to be her comfort in the moment. I had to brave up and detangle the bug out of her hair as quickly as possible for her to stop screaming.
So I did. Her loss of control in the moment as she watched the bug intertwine it’s wings and legs around the strands of her hair, reminded me of the time I was on the catamaran. She was not mentally capable of composing herself any more than I was when I was on the boat.
Truth: “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
This verse isn’t meant to make anyone feel stupid. That’s not the point. I have read this verse a hundred times and almost every single time I think to myself, why then do I get so afraid all the time of things?
But the verse doesn’t say that scary things won’t happen. Of course scary things happen. We face scary situations every single day of our lives. This verse isn’t to shame you when you feel real fear. Not at all. This verse is meant to encourage you when you are facing fear. It is meant to calm you down so that you can have the self-discipline to be logical and of sound mind.
When my daughter had the cicada in her hair, I was a little freaked out too. But as I was deciding what I was going to do for her, I literally said out loud, “Oh Dear Lord, be my strength here,” and without even second guessing I stuck my hand on that red-eyed creepy monster and picked it right out of her hair and tossed him away. When I called on God to be my strength, He was. He gave me the Spirit of power, love, and self-discipline to honor my daughter and remove it.
When I was on the catamaran almost eight years ago, I didn’t think to pray. I didn’t think to stop and pause and look to God instead of my husband for safety.
It has taken me years and years to get to a place where I can sometimes remember to turn to God when things get scary. But even when I forget and try to do it on my own, the Spirit inside of me is there gently reminding me that I don’t need to face the fear alone. He is with me. He is my rock in the storm. He is holding me together.
I hope to someday be way better at this. But one of the ways I have found for myself to get better at it is by taking small steps in trusting Him. Small steps to force me to be intentional.
I have to recognize something that would be scary and make an intentional decision to do it anyway. For example, a couple of days after the catamaran experience on our honeymoon, we had the opportunity to drive some dune buggies to a freshwater cave.
My husband knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn’t jump into the cave water. But I made an intentional decision. I talked it over with God and reasoned that there were definitely no sharks in the freshwater cave, and the water was clear (even though it was very dark in the cave). I asked God to help me.
So when it came time to jump into the cave water, I took a deep breath as I faced my fear. I asked God to protect me in the water. And I jumped in. I was able to swim around for about five minutes before my mind began to unravel and calmly made the decision to get out of the water.
But I did it. I jumped in. I faced a fear. I was scared the entire time I was in the water, but I trusted God to protect me.
What is something in your life that you are fearful of? Is there an intentional way you can face that fear by taking a small step in trusting God to protect you in it?
I don’t want to give you the impression that when you just ask God to protect you or help you face a fear that all of a sudden you will be superwoman and be able to take on the world or that nothing scary will ever happen again. That’s not the case. It has taken me years and years to trust Him and the strength and truth of His Spirit of power, love, and self-discipline that He has given me.
But now, because I have been intentional in making the effort in talking to Him in the midst of my fears, I have found myself with more courage in situations than I ever thought possible. I mean, I grabbed a disgusting red-eyed creepy monster bug out of my daughter’s hair. That’s love, power, and self-discipline. And it is truly because I have been intentional in practicing asking for His presence when I am afraid.