Discovering Your Why To Pull You Up When Feeling Stuck.
1 Corinthians 16: 14 tells us to let all that we do be done in love. That sounds great, but what if you don’t know why you are doing it in the first place? We know we should do the things we do out of love, but what drives us to do the things we most want to do? Some refer to this as your “Why.” Understanding “why” you are driven toward a certain career/path or “why” you desire a particular outcome can be the ticket to getting yourself through the slump or bump.
What’s Your Why?
I did an activity with my students recently where they started to explore their own “why.” Below are the questions I gave them.
- Why do you do what you do?
- What brings you life? Meaning, what charges you, brings you joy, makes you come alive?
- What skills do you possess that come naturally to you?
- In all the different roles you have in life, where do you add the greatest value?
- What tasks or activities would you be willing to do for free?
- What does success look like to you? How will you know when you have “made it?” How will this be measured?
The point of the activity was to help them start digging into their greater purpose. The truth is, we all yearn for purpose and meaning. But when we know why we do what we do, then falling down on the way becomes much easier to handle. When we understand our why, we will be more likely to pursue things that fulfill us and bring us a sense of purpose.
Many of my high school students don’t exactly know their why. They know they want to graduate high school, some go to college, some get married, some just want to be alive at 25.
As I began reflecting on this, I realized how true this is for so many adults too. We know we want to pay our bills, have a job, put food on the table, raise well-rounded children, and perhaps even do a little better than just surviving the day.
But Why– Don’t All Those Things Have Meaning?
We want our lives to feel worthwhile. This looks different on everyone though. For some, they feel worthwhile when they are surrounded by their grandchildren and they have provided a warm meal with smiles on everyone’s face. Someone else may feel worthwhile when they see the fruit of their labor in serving others. Someone else may feel worthwhile when their personal net worth has reached a certain number.
The point is, we want to feel valuable. When we feel valuable we begin to connect with our greater purpose.
If you have never explored the questions above, I would encourage you to do so. You may have to do some real shovel-style digging, but you will get to your why.
Give It A Try– I Did
Breaking down these questions and analyzing each answer is what drove me closer to my why which is, to encourage and motivate others on a deep level by being completely vulnerable with them and creating a space where they feel secure and safe to unpack their heart and feelings, so they can truly experience what it feels like to be loved and significant.
Through answering each question and really digging into the answers of those questions, I was able to come to my why. Once I knew my why, it freed me up from being caught up on the things that didn’t matter.
Because I have known my why for a long time, I have been able to create this kind of space for students in my classroom where they feel safe, secure, and significant. A place where they can be vulnerable. But the truth is, no matter what my job title is or ever will be, my why doesn’t change.
What To Do Once You Know Your Why
You get yourself unstuck. Knowing your why and purpose in life will help you get unstuck when things get sticky or difficult. It helps you zero in on a target. If I ever feel like a hamster on a wheel, I can look at my why statement and decide if the activity or thing I am engaging in is on the same path as my why. Burnout happens, but when we have a why, it puts the wheel you are trying to run on into perspective and allows for you to step off of it and approach the situation differently.
Knowing your why keeps you focused on your goals. When you zero in on your purpose, you become passionate about chasing it down and not wasting your time on the things that don’t matter. People who know their why have confidence when moving mountains, because they know why they are moving it.
Another positive outcome about knowing your why is that you will be in integrity with yourself. It is so easy to say you will do something and not follow through, or allow others to persuade you into a different direction. But when you know your purpose, you live your life aligned to your core values. Then doing things outside of your core belief system, stops being an option because you know exactly why you are doing what it is you are doing.
A Greater Truth
The closer you get to Jesus, the clearer your why becomes, “for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Philippians 2: 13). If you are walking in a relationship with Him, chances are pretty good that He put that desire on your heart on purpose.
The best example of this is my own personal experience. Beginning in infancy, we are self-consumed. I was no different. I had needs and wants and threw temper tantrums just like any of the rest of us. But my why isn’t self-serving. In fact, my why is the complete opposite of self-serving. But when I do the things in my why statement, my heart is on fire with joy and pride. It fills my bucket and overflows it. This isn’t because I am some rare example, but rather it is because I am aligned with Him. My why serves me, but it also serves Him.
Jesus Knew His Why
Luke 4:18-19 says, “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
John 18:37 says, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”
John 12:46 says, “I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.”
Mark 10:45 says, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
When you look at the core of each of these verses it becomes very clear that His why was to share the truth of love and grace by serving others with love and setting people free from bondage by giving His life as a sacrifice.
So anytime He got into a sticky situation, He was able to focus on His why, and in doing so, He kept his walk narrow and straight, leading with grace and truth at every turn. He didn’t waste His time on the things that didn’t matter, like where He was going to sleep. He only focused on the thing He came to do. He had the confidence to move mountains and literally roll stones out of the way. He followed through with what He said He was going to do and didn’t allow the enemy to persuade Him or people to persuade Him to do something other than what He came to accomplish. He was filled with love and compassion at all times. He knew His why.
What’s the Takeaway?
First, if you haven’t ever articulated why you do what you do, I would like to encourage you to try to do so. Write it down, work through it. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it will at least get you started on the path to helping you find meaning and value in what you do each day.
I would also encourage you to consider one very simple suggestion. No matter why you do what you do, “Do everything in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14). If you lead with love, you can’t go wrong. God is cheering for you and me even when we are feeling stuck and running like a hamster on a wheel.
Life can be trying and difficult. It can be downright hard sometimes. But finding your why will help you drive toward a life that will feel more fulfilling. God loves you so deeply and has gifted you with certain talents and abilities to support you in the trials of daily life.
I hope you find your why and then spend the rest of your life passionately pursuing it with God alongside you.
Thanks for your blog, nice to read. Do not stop.