“It Is Well With My Soul” Stories to Inspire You and Pull at Your Heartstrings

Guard Your Heart and Take Captive Every Thought

I am such a big fan of the fruits of the Spirit. I believe so strongly that if we can just lean into God and allow His Spirit to guide us then we can be so much better at things like love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. 

But this is the frightening conclusion I have come to; Proverb 4:23 verse which reads, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it,” gives a very clear warning about guarding our hearts, because I honestly think when we don’t, the Spirit doesn’t have room to do work. Everything we do, things like work, playing with our kids, responding to emails, driving our cars, hanging out with our friends, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, whatever it is that needs to be done or that you are doing, if you don’t guard your heart while you are doing it, the Spirit doesn’t have room to move. 

Here’s what I mean by this. First I must admit, I don’t have what it takes to be patient with my kids 100% of the time, or loving enough to clean the house after a long day at work, or gentle enough with my mom while my kids are all screaming and melting down, or joyful enough with my coworkers when I have thirty emails waiting for a response. Since I am not all of those things, I rely very heavily on the Holy Spirit to fill me the rest of the way so that I can be those things, even when I don’t think I have the capacity to. 

But here’s the thing, when I allow the situation or moment to steer me into anger, frustration, envy, or bitterness, then the Holy Spirit inside of me doesn’t have room to work because I allow myself and my frustrations to get in the way. 

It is completely okay to desire things like kids who behave and do everything they are told. But when they don’t (because we all know they won’t every single time) I can either lean into the Holy Spirit to give me the patience, gentleness, kindness, and self control I need in order to reroute them and get us through the melt down, or I can become angry, frustrated, or annoyed. The obvious choice is to be the good, right? 

But it isn’t always just this easy. We have to be intentional in guarding our hearts against the anger. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying if you lean into the Holy Spirit then you won’t feel anger any longer, but I am saying that if you are intentional and actually make a conscious effort to guard your heart against it, then the Spirit will give you the capacity to be gentle and kind even while you are annoyed or angry. 

My husband went out of town with his brothers and dad this week. So this morning on the way to drop my kids off at daycare, I was presented with the opportunity to either be gentle and kind to my kids and exude self control during my frustration, or I could have allowed my frustration to take over. I’d love to tell you I picked the good. But I didn’t. I started yelling at them and didn’t show them kindness and gentleness. 

Of course, after I dropped them off at school, my mom-guilt kicked in on overdrive, and I started to replace the anger with self-loathing words like world’s worst mom. But then the Holy Spirit reminded me that I am not a horrible mother. He reminded me to take captive that thought and to guard my heart against such self flagellation. He reminded me that I am His friend and even though I didn’t tap into the fruits of the Spirit when my kids were in the car, I had another opportunity to do so right then. I could guard my heart against the negativity I was inflicting on myself or I could allow myself to wallow and be sad and then perhaps miss out on an opportunity to allow the Spirit to do work. 

This time, I picked the Spirit. I told Satan, “Not today!” I decided I would pick my kids up as soon as I got out of work, (usually I go to the gym or go home and prep dinner first). But today instead of focusing on me I would go get them and we would have a fun girls night, but the first thing I would do as soon as I saw them is say I’m sorry.

Here’s the thing. If you are thinking that I should have felt bad for a longer period of time about how I yelled at my kids, let me tell you; I’ve tried that method. I have beat myself up over and over in the past for yelling at them and wallowed in my mom-guilt and complained to anyone and everyone that would give me space to do so. But that method doesn’t work. The only thing it does is perpetuate the negativity in myself and then bleed out onto others.

God has more for me than this. He loves me completely and has me covered in His grace. I am going to mess up. I’m really good at messing up. I’m even worse though at beating myself up afterwards and not accepting the grace that He is ready to give me. However, if I can just recognize I am not perfect, and ask the Spirit to help me be better at the self-control piece, then try again the next time, then I don’t need to beat myself up. It doesn’t work for anyone’s benefit.

My principal had scheduled a mandatory staff meeting about scheduling for next school year, which was a huge part of my anxiety and frustration when I was trying to get my kids out of the house and to daycare. I didn’t want to be late, especially when we had a staff meeting before the start of school.

Once the meeting was over, I did something that I never do. I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to offer a moment of prayer for anyone who wanted to participate. We had just learned, only yesterday, two of our coworkers had received some painful news about their family members. So when the Holy Spirit nudged me to tell me to offer prayer to anyone who wanted to pray together for our coworkers, it felt scary to me, but it felt completely right, so I stood up in front of the staff and told them I would stay around a little longer to pray for our coworkers, and anyone was welcome to join me.

I have never done anything like that in my life. I have never stood up in front of a group of teachers in my entire teaching career and offered to pray. But that’s what happens when the Spirit is alive and given room to move in you. He moves you to be more than you think you can be. When I was finished praying I looked up and several teachers were crying and I could feel the Spirit in the room. I could feel Him hearing the prayers of the teachers in that public building. 

Had I not taken captive my thoughts and guarded my heart against the negative self-talk from my mom-guilt, I would have not seen the opportunity or felt the nudge from the Holy Spirit to pray with my coworkers, and I certainly wouldn’t have been brave enough to offer it. 

It was truly amazing to feel the Holy Spirit alive in my school building and to witness teachers coming together to pray for a cause. I got a front row seat and He invited me into being a part of that moment. It was so cool.

As soon as I left work, I went to pick up my kids from daycare. Once I got them loaded into the car, I looked at all three of them and apologized to them for my harshness and yelling in the morning. I hugged them and kissed them. 

And you know what they said to me in return? “It’s okay, Mommy, we accept your apology.” That simple. That easy. No tears. No anger. Just a simple, it’s okay. (I hope you weren’t expecting more).

Then we went on and had a nice evening together. It was so relieving to be able to apologize and then move past it. Had I not apologized, I would have spent the rest of the evening trying to please them because my mom-guilt would have convinced me it’s what needed done. Instead though, I owned my mistake, I asked for forgiveness, I modeled what it looks like to apologize, then I modeled what it looks like to not let the sun go down on our troubles, and to accept forgiveness and not try to make up for it. The evening was so nice. We played, we ate dinner, we got baths, we were silly together, and then we laid down to go to bed together.

When we were laying down to bed, we started talking about the best part of our days, and I told them how I was able to pray in front of my coworkers. Then both my oldest and my middle child asked if we could pray too for the same thing. Naturally, I agreed. 

When they started praying out loud they started talking to Jesus right there in bed as if He were sitting right beside them. My husband and I have been praying with them since they were babies, and you know what? We must have modeled for them pretty well because the prayers that came out of their mouths were good and powerful, and most importantly, confident. 

The truth is, when we model for our kids, they pick up on it. They see you. They see you and all the things you do and how you do it. They see you praying. They see you apologizing. And they pick up on it. 

My hope for you is that you recognize just how important your role is to those around you. They see you. If you struggle with filling your heart with the good and righteous things, and allowing the fruits of the Spirit to move you towards a better way of handling the situation, then keep trying. It isn’t easy all the time, but what matters most is that when you fail, you take captive the negative self-talk, and instead remember that you are a friend of Jesus. You are chosen. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. So dust yourself off and try again. Because not only do your children see you and learn from you, but God sees you too, and He is filled with joy because you want Him to give you the strength to do the things you can’t do on your own.

And when you give Him the space, He gives you new opportunities to show love.