Overwhelmed by the Chaos

The Daily To Do List:

The list just keeps growing; I need to send several emails, create lesson plans, food prep, clean my house, go to the grocery, pack lunches, go to the gym. If I keep going on with all the things I need to do, you’re likely to add some of it to your own list, so I will spare you the opportunity. 

But if you’re anything like me, it feels like no matter how hard I try to get it all done, the list never goes away. Then on top of the ever growing list of things to do, there are all the people to please. Crying children, demanding employers, busy spouses, and not to mention the world at large with all the starving humans, homeless humans, suffering humans.

The world has a ton of stress and chaos that comes with it. So chaotic that it can be overwhelming.

Overwhelmed

As I woke up this morning next to my two year old in my bed, who spent the entire night kicking me and tossing her elbows into my face (even though I have a king bed, she insisted on sleeping right next to me instead of in her own bed or even a couple inches away from me), I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. 

I went downstairs to help get breakfast in front of the kids, only to see toys and things all over the house, pans needing washed from last night’s dinner, and dog hair needing to be vacuumed because it’s only been less than twenty-four hours since it was vacuumed and it looks like it hasn’t been done in over a year. 

So I did what any rational thirty something year old woman does. I called my mom and asked her if I could bring the kids over so I could go to the gym. 

Exercise, for me, is like a breath of fresh air. I love to lift heavy things, run long distances, and push my body. I figured if I could just get a little exercise in, I would be able to conquer the day; attack the dishes, clean the house, and knock the to do list out.

Peopled Out

But as I left my mom’s house, headed for the gym, I realized I didn’t want to be around people. As much as I wanted to exercise, and as much as I love my gym and all my friends there, going to the gym and being with people sounded exhausting. Not that I don’t love people, but even as extroverted as I am, people don’t recharge me. Quiet and stillness does. Prayer time does. I know myself well enough to know that I needed to recharge. I have been around people for several days in a row without any quiet, so I turned toward my house and decided I would go for a run in my neighborhood instead.

Finding Bacon (and God)

Running is truly a form of worship for me. When I get going, I find God. On my run I started unpacking my feelings of being overwhelmed with all the things on my to do list, then I started thinking about all the things I needed to do for other people, which quickly led me into thinking how much pain and suffering there really is in this world. As I was thinking about this I said to God, “When is this going to be over? When are you going to come and stop all this madness in the world, and finally bring what Revelations 21: 4 promises?”

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Rev 21:4). 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want the world to come to a screeching stop and I’m not ready for my life to be over or anything. But have you ever wondered what the end game is? When is the end coming? 

As I rounded a corner on my run right after I asked the question, my nostrils filled with the glorious scent of frying bacon. I love the smell of bacon. It is so perfect. The smell filled the air and I started laughing at the joy I had found in the simple smell of bacon. 

In the midst of the joy I was finding in the smell of bacon it occurred to me, the chaos isn’t going to go away anytime soon. The floor will always need vacuumed, but I can choose to find joy in middle of it all.

I realized at that moment that while there is so much chaos in this world, and so much pain, and a million things to do each day, there are also so many things that I love in this world where I can find joy in the middle of the chaos.

Finding the Joy

You know when you are hustling to get everything done and it feels like the world is being held up by your shoulders? What if instead of allowing the pressure to squash you, you make an intentional decision to shift your mindset?

Each day, each moment, each interaction, you get to decide how you will respond to the situation. Is the glass half empty or half full? What one positive thing can you find in the moment?

Need to send a thousand emails? Doesn’t it feel good though when you start to type in the email address and it auto populates the most popular choices that you send to? It’s probably a ten second savings, but it is a moment that can give such satisfaction and joy.

Or you know when you are stuck in traffic on your way to do one of the dozens of items on your to do list? I don’t know about you, but I love having time to sing. Extra time in the car means extra time to sing along with the radio. The traffic and to do list doesn’t go away by singing, but you can find joy in it if you choose to.

Or you know when your kids are crying and you have to stop what you are doing to snuggle them or hold them until they calm down? You know that feeling of serenity that you feel when your child relaxes in your arms because you made them feel safe and loved? Those kinds of moments, though they feel like chaos and difficulty, are exclusive to what we get to experience in the midst of the challenges.

Or do you know that feeling when you’re watching a movie or you hear about it on social media where someone shows generosity to a complete stranger or the whole community helps out the mourning widow? It’s a feeling that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. The pain sucks. The hurt sucks. But when people show kindness during someone else’s worst hour, it is such an overwhelming rush of love and joy. 

My point is, we have no idea when the end is coming. But there is beauty in that. There is so much good to experience here in the middle of the chaos. We can find joy in whatever situation we are handed. We can choose to see the glass half full.

There is so much to do each day. So much chaos everywhere. Overwhelmingly so. While I know heaven will be a place of perfection and joy, I think each moment of our day we get to experience a little bit of that feeling here on earth. Like heaven on earth.

Making an intentional decision to shift your mindset to find the joy in the chaos takes work. It’s difficult for me too. But perhaps just like Revelations 21:4 says heaven is a place where there is no mourning or crying or pain, we can experience heaven on earth if we can be intentional in finding the joy and the good in the chaos.

Right Here, Right Now, Here in the Middle

But here in the middle, before we get to experience heaven, we can find joy in the chaos. We can find warmth and serenity in the love we share with others in their worst hour. We can find satisfaction in the smell of bacon.

Life is short. We only get to experience this place for a short time, a hundred years at best. So why not make the most of it? Why not find the joy, love, laughter, kindness, peace, gentleness, and goodness in the chaos? The to do list will be there. There will always be things needing done, but thankfully we get to experience it and feel the satisfaction of a freshly vacuumed house, or whatever it is that our human selves get to do each day. 

Everyday we get to decide how we will respond to the chaos. Will we let it own us, tear us down, destroy us? Or will we decide to consider it all joy and find heaven here on earth with each other and the short human experiences we get? 

I hope you choose joy, my friend.

Below, I have included a worship song by Elevation Worship, Here Again. It is such a good reminder that God is with us in the middle and in the chaos. Until next week, all my love.